Lost: "The Long Con"

Previously: Charlie flips out and tries to kidnap Aaron. Locke punches him out for his trouble. Zeke and the others dare Jack and the lostaways to cross the line. Jack asks Ana-Lucia about training an army even though Sayid was actually in the army.

Now: Jack's checking on guns and ammo. We learn that Locke's keeping the heroin for "therapeutic purposes," but is too superstitious to break the statues. I don't know if I believe him. Jack asks Locke for the combination to the armory. Locke gives it to him, reluctantly, after extracting a promise to consult each other before using it. Then Locke casually mentions that Jack might want to lock up the medicine, too.

On the beach, a shirtless Sawyer taunts Charlie for getting tossed out by Claire and socked by Locke. Charlie points out that Jack's ransacking Sawyer's tent. Jack's taking back the pills Sawyer had in his stash way back when. Sawyer is not happy about this.

Flashback. At least I figure it's a flashback since Sawyer’s in bed with a woman and it's, you know, an actual bed. Sawyer jumps up, claiming to be late for a meeting. His suitcase falls open, revealing a bunch of money. We've seen him run this con before. This time, though, his lady friend totally busts him. She tells him she didn't take anything from her husband in the divorce and asks Sawyer to show her how to con people.

Now. Kate teases Sawyer, who's cleaning up his tent. He's wearing a shirt now. Sorry, ladies. Kate's brought him some reading material, but he lost his glasses on the raft. He asks her to read it to him. They greet John, who's walking past. Sawyer doesn't think his reasons for bunking near Claire are entirely altruistic. Ew, Sawyer. Sawyer breaks the news to Kate about Jack and Ana-Lucia pow-wowing. She pretends not to be bothered. She's not very good at it.

Hurley's brought Sayid the radio Bernard had, but Sayid tells him in no uncertain terms that it's useless. Sayid is being pretty shitty to Hurley here, but then Sayid's still grieving for Shannon. He's busting some coconuts or something in his grief. Maybe he's helping Jack and Ana-Lucia with their army stuff? Seriously, I can't tell what he's doing here. Anyone?

Ana-Lucia laments the fact that she and Jack can't talk anyone into joining their army. She asks Jack for the armory combo, then claims to be just kidding.

Sun's working in the garden and hears something rustling in the jungle. You can totally tell it's just Vincent though by the way the foliage is moving. He runs out to Sun and then quickly runs away. A sudden downpour starts. Just as suddenly, Sun is restrained, hooded, and abducted. On the beach, Kate and Sawyer hear Sun's cries and run to find her knocked out with her hands tied.

Sawyer sends Kate after Jack and returns Sun to the beach. Jack arrives to take care of her and gets the story from Kate. Ana-Lucia declares, "They’re back." Thank you for that bit of insight, Ana-Lucia. Really truly.

The rain's stopped. Ana-Lucia wants to go after Sun's attackers "with guns!" but Locke vetoes the idea. Hm. They plan instead to wait for Sun to wake up so they can find out what happened. Everyone's sort of surprised about the attack since Zeke promised them an uneasy truce. I think it's funny they’re taking Zeke as a man of his word, but whatever.

Sawyer and Kate try to follow the trail the attackers took. Sawyer thinks something's fishy. They find a hood, but Sawyer says it's not just like the one the Others used on Kate. "It’s all in the details," he says. He suspects Ana-Lucia's trying to scare people into joining the army.

Flashback. Sawyer's showing his lady friend – let's call her NotKate, shall we? – how to set up a junk jewelry con. "It's all in the details," he tells her. He tries to sell some fake gold jewelry at a gas station and NotKate offers to buy some. Then everybody else at the gas station does, too. They're clamoring around like hicks for snake oil. These people are seriously jonesing for some hot necklaces.

Now. Kate wants to know how well Jack knows Ana-Lucia. Um, y'all were all on the same plane, Kate, so...

Ana tells Jack some more people want to sign up. Jack asks her where she was that morning and she gets indignant. Claire comes to tell him that Sun's awake, thereby saving him from having to answer Ana-Lucia.

Sun tells Jack what happened. She knows about as much as we do. Jin is understandably upset and Sun tries to calm him down. "Gun," he says repeatedly in English. Kate suddenly realizes that it's all a setup by Ana, trying to get her hands on the guns. To be fair, she's got that air of menacing intent all the time, Kate. Kate wants Sawyer to warn Locke that they're coming for the guns.

Flashback. NotKate wants to do a big con. So. Many. Jokes. Sawyer corrects her: "It's called a long con." He says they don’t have the money to do it. NotKate says she lied about not getting anything in the divorce; she's got $600,000. Oh, NotKate. You schmuck. NotKate gets all schmoopy about wanting to do this with Sawyer. Sawyer says he'll think about it.

Now. Sawyer – who Locke insists on calling James, heh – warns Locke about the posse coming after the guns. Sawyer admits to telling Locke just to piss off Jack. He suggests that Locke change the combination. Locke asks for his help in moving the guns, wanting Sawyer to man the station while he stashes the guns. Are they really going to have time to pull this off?

Flashback. Sawyer orders a meal in a diner. Some guy – his partner Gordy, it turns out – joins him. Sawyer tells his Gordy he's not going to get the money from NotKate – oh sorry, Cassidy. Gordy insists that Sawyer go through with it because Cassidy's going to hate him when she finds out who she is. He threatens Sawyer and Cassidy if Sawyer doesn't get the money.

In the hatch, the beeping's started. Sawyer's taking his sweet ass time entering the numbers. Jack and Jin show up. Sawyer feigns ignorance about Locke's whereabouts. Jack finds the armory empty. Sawyer feigns ignorance about that too, then tosses the confiscated pills at Jack. Jin stops Jack from going after Sawyer. Man, he always knows the right thing to say. I mean, it's almost always in Korean, but it seems to do the trick.

On the beach, Locke is merrily tending a fire. He refuses to tell Jack where the guns are, claiming he was about to violate their agreement. Locke claims guilt for teaching Michael how to shoot. Jack's yelling for Locke to give him two guns when shots ring out. Sawyer reveals that he has the guns now. Ha, he got the ups on both Jack and Locke. He's more than a little pissed that they swiped his stash while he was gone. Sawyer says he's done taking orders. From now on, anyone who wants guns is going to have to come to him. "I'll die before I give 'em back and then you'll really be screwed, won't you?" he says. He declares that there's a new sheriff in town, and they best get used to it.

Flashback. Sawyer returns home to Cassidy. He directs her attention to Gordy, waiting in a car outside. He reveals that she was the long con. Cassidy's pissed. Hypocritical, much? Sawyer claims that he does care about Cassidy and that Gordy's going to kill them if he doesn't get the money. He tells her to wait for him at a motel and tells her he loves her.

Back on the beach, Sawyer's cleaning one of his guns. Kate wants to know how Sawyer pulled it off. He won't tell her. Kate's mad that Sawyer used her in his con and wants to know if he had anything to do with Sun. Kate armchair-therapies that Sawyer did all this because he wants people to hate him. He claims he did it because "a tiger don't change his stripes."

Hurley's reading a mystery manuscript he found. Sayid brings him the radio, which he fixed, but tells him not to expect anything. They receive Rousseau's signal, and then something that sounds like old-timey radio commercials. Then period music starts playing very clearly. Hurley's impressed by the strength of the signal but Sayid warns that it could be coming from anywhere. "Or anytime," Hurley kids. Sometimes I think this show is just fucking with us. This is one of those times.

In the jungle, Sawyer offers Charlie one of the statues as a reward for his help. Charlie refuses it; he just wanted Locke to look and feel like a fool. He asks Sawyer not to tell Sun about the part he played in their con. He wants to know how Sawyer even came up with the idea.

Flashback. Sawyer goes out to the car, which is empty, and waits for Cassidy to leave. He counts to mark time and then goes in after the money. He wistfully looks at a picture of him and Cassidy before placing it face-down.

Now. He tells Charlie he's not a good person and never did a good thing in his life. I think we all know at least the latter part isn't true -- when he told Jack about his dad comes to mind -- but for some reason I hesitate to think that Kate might have him pegged.

Next week: they capture one of the Others and Sayid gets down to business. Torturin' business. Jack and Locke struggle as Jack threatens not to push the button. Oh, like we don't know how that's going to turn out.