Lost: "What Kate Does"

I watched the re-airing of the second half of "LA X" with all the little captions. I'd steered clear of those re-airings in the past, but I don't want to miss a thing this season. My verdict on the captions: informative yet somewhat annoying. What, scrolling too good for you? You can't go sideways like normal captions? Hmph. Moving on, to this week's (caption) free, first-run, all-new episode:

• Um, why doesn't Claire jump out of the cab when the cabbie does? For serious.
• Best line of the episode. A tie! Between Hurley ("It's the Others, dude. They caught us ... again." and Miles ("We'll be in the food court if you need us.") Hee!
• Oh lord, it's Kate and her over-inflated sense of self-importance ... again. Five seasons in, and I'm still not buying Kate Austen (or maybe it's Evangline Lilly) as a bad-ass. Sorry.
• Well, golly, it's Ye Olde Handcranke Torture Device™! Guaran-teed to drive out demons, ghouls, and creepily self-assured island haints. Except when it doesn't, in which case we break out the ol' hot poker.
• OMG, I totally forgot how Kate's got a Heart of Gold!!!! In case you couldn't tell, I'm about full-up on Kate by now.
• For some reason, I'd have expected Sayid to be more ... I dunno, hard-core about this. Dude is like, sobbing. Which I guess is a big clue that he's not quite himself.
• Wow, lady. I really thought she was going to say her husband DIED, but ... um, no. He left her? I'm sorry, I know that's sad and all (and I'mma let you finish...) but the least she could have done is CALLED. You know, AUSTRALIA. God damn. Slightly off-topic, but that is not a flattering top Claire's wearing. It's got some little designs on it that I totally thought were trans-Pacific flight grime at first glance. Ew, costume people.
• Commercials. You know, if my husband is so inept at being a damn consumer and so damned overwhelmed by all the delights Wal-Mart has to offer that he needs a "Valentine's Day Center" just to make it through ... I'd rather not have anything, thanks. We don't celebrate the "holiday" anyway, but jeezy creezy, Wal-Mart.
• I don't know why, but the name "Dr. Goodspeed" amuses me greatly. Also, it's creepy when grown people call other grown people "Mommy." Unless it's, you know, their mommy.
• Damn, Kate. When a man goes out to sit on a dock alone, especially after his girlfriend dies and you snoop on him looking through their memory box, it usually means he wants to be ALONE.
• *sniff* Y'know, they were no Desmond & Penny, but I'll admit I was 'shipping Sawyer & Juliet a little bit. Sad times.
• Not to be mean, but I think there was "a darkness" in Sayid anyway. You know, what with the career as a torturer and everything.
• Oh, his sister! Dun dun DUN! I guess it was no accident Claire featured heavily in this week's "flash-sideways." I was actually wondering if we were going to see her again after this episode, but I guess I have my answer now.

Next week: More Sawyer! Less Kate! (?) And NotLocke being a smug creeper ... again. Join us, won't you?

Lost: "LA X"

That recap "Final Chapter" came in handy as a sort of refresher course, although I can't imagine anyone using it to get acquainted with the series. I had forgotten how much I hate Charles Widmore, how fabulous Michael Emerson is, and I'd forgotten the numbers ... again. Okay, confession: I have never been able to remember the numbers. Maybe if you gave me an hour I could guess them all, but never in sequence. Seriously, even if I knew they could actually help me win the lottery, I'd still fail. Numbers and me: not perfect together.

Anyway, the episode title: is it x for the unknown, or X the Roman numeral ten (i.e., the Los Angeles Ten instead of the Oceanic Six)? Ooh, who knows?

Previously, on Lost: Ben killed the shit out of Jacob, New Locke roasted him for good measure, Juliet awesomely hand-detonated the bomb, and everything went white.

Now, for mind bullets, in chronological order:

• Yay, it's Bernard and Rose. Aw, I'm always happy to see them. Even if we never see them again the rest of the season, I'm good. They're happy and safe (I think) and together, so I'm good.
• It's Desmond! And he's clean-shaven (sort of)! WTF is he doing here?! Shit, I forgot that a reset would mean he is not happily sailing 'round the world with Penny and Li'l Charlie Hume. Shit.
• Dude! The island sank. This is so frigging creepy. Almost as creepy as "Guys, where are we?"
• Ooh, Sawyer is pissed. Or ... well, what comes after pissed? Because that's what he is.
• Oh! What if this stuff on the plane is the purgatory/afterlife people used to theorize that the island was? (Note: this is the first of what's sure to be many, maaaany half-baked theories I put forth this season. Feel free to chime in/ignore/argue.)
• Juliet? Dude, really? I did not see that coming, mostly because she had a perfectly good (touching, thematically fulfilling) death scene in last season's finale.
• "Oh, hey, I'm Jacob. I'm totally not dead, just hangin' out in the jungle, lalala..."
• Where's Shannon? Please do not try to be telling me Maggie Grace is too good/busy for Lost now. Sorry, not buying it.
• I love Ben trying to cover up the bloodstains on his shirt by crossing his arms. That's fucking hilarious, man. Michael Emerson FTW, once again.
• Ah, crap; Jacob's still dead. I forgot Hurley can talk to ghosts.
• CHAAA-LEEEE!
• Hey, Old Smokey's back, and is apparently a manifestation of New Locke. Also, he is seriously good at the ass-whupping. (Hey! That's one question -- What is the smoke monster? -- answered. Sure, it gives rise to new questions, but uh ... um ... moving on!)
• Yeah, Kate? If you could just lean a little harder on the precariously arranged debris, that would be great. Thaaaaanks.
• Okay, what the FUCK is the point of bringing Juliet back, only to have her die in Sawyer's arms? We already saw them have their tearful goodbyes, we totally understand why Sawyer's kind of angry with Jack right now. Until I see evidence to the contrary, I'm going to say this was a bad call on someone's part.
• Ha, Doc Boozy, Sr. is totes fucking with his son From Beyond the Grave. Hide the Body, that's always a good one.
• I love that they're still discovering new places. How big is this damn island, anyway?
• Commercials. Wow, this guy who hasn't had his McDonald's coffee yet is a real douchebag.
• Um, why is the Oceanic stewardess hanging out with the temple folk? I'm confused.
• I love how Kate's looking at Hurley all, WTF? How does anything surprise these people anymore?
• Are those little kids outside the temple? Are they the kids of new arrivals or what? Because I thought the whole baby problem was why they brought Juliet to the island in the first place. And I didn't think Ben and Richard were bringing other people onto the island ... at least they didn't show us that, did they? Again, confused. ETA: d'oh, I think they're the kids from 815 who got kidnapped way back when (and were assumed dead). Dur.
• Um, is that how you perform CPR? It looks wrong somehow. Granted, my only experience with CPR is watching it done on TV, but I'd swear that's not even how people on TV do it.
• Sayid's dead? I guess? Who the hell knows, with this show. Well, RIP -- unless you're not really dead, in which case: dif tor heh smusma, I guess.
• I wonder if the temple folk have, like, smoke monster drills. They're pretty efficient at going into lockdown mode.
• Wow, Esau's* pretty mean. In addition to being an evil murderer and all, you know?
• Oh damn, please, not the Triangle of Luuuuv again. Nobody wants that. Juliet JUST DIED, you bastards.
• Jack's face when he's talking to Locke at the airport: Thanks for the New Age wisdom I totally didn't ask for, smirky wheelchair guy.
• Ha! See, Sayid's not dead. Knew it. Okay, so we all knew it. Maybe.

Next week: The Time For Questions Is Over. Oh, but I have so many -- oh wait, you meant because we're going to be getting answers now. Ha. I get it. Okay, awesome.

*=What? That's what we're calling him, right?

Four Thousand, Three Hundred Ninety-One

That's how many comments I just lost. Fancypants Haloscan is going away, and from what I hear the replacement software suuuuucks, so I guess it's back to Blogger comments for me. I know there was a reason I went with Haloscan over Blogger in the first place, but of course I don't remember what it was now.

The really hard part is LOSING ALL MY COMMENTS. MY PRESHUSS, PRESHUSS COMMENTS. I exported them all, but there's no way for me to import them right now, so it's like thanks a lot for NOTHING, Haloscan. Eeurgh. I hope the transition is smooth on your end, at least.

I suppose I'll focus on the future, now. ONWARD. I've got a banner idea I've been kicking around for a bit. Actually, it's technically all ready to go but it's a little bland. I don't know how to isolate stuff in any kind of editing software (I think it's called lassoing?) so now it's a matter of teaching myself HOW but do I really want to wait that long before putting up something new? To be perfectly honest, I'm not in love with what I have up there anyway. I originally had something else in mind for my Pushing Daisies-themed banner, but again, I was limited by my ... uh ... limitations. I don't want to think I should change that every time I come here.

Okay, I'm done word vomiting now. Hopefully the comments work. *crosses fingers*

Getting to Hope You Like Me

Here I was, stumped for blog content (again), TWO o' them survey thingies land in my inbox! I'll be darned! Cut and paste your own answers in the comments section, or your own blog, or by email, or on a dirty napkin you found in the ladies room. You know, whatever floats your boat. And I know the formatting on this is, like, no-alibi UGLY, but it's a blog post! It counts! There, I helped!

Survey the First:

> 1. High heels or boots? Boots.
> 2. What time did you get up this morning? 7:45 AM
> 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Avatar
> 4. What is your maiden name? Wilson
> 5.What is your favorite TV show? Lost when it's on (right now, Fringe)
> 6. What do you usually have for breakfast? Cocoa or juice and a breakfast sandwich
> 7. What is your middle name? UGH, not putting THAT out there.
> 8. What food do you dislike? Olives and tomatoes (but not olive oil or tomato sauce)
> 9. Favorite CD at the moment? Wicked 5th Anniversary edition
> 10. What characteristic do you dislike? Lying liars who lie.
> 11. Favorite clothing? Jeans and cozy sweaters.
> 12. If you could jump on a plane/train/automobile right now…where would you travel to and why? London. I don't know why I said that.
> 13.Are you an organized person? I like to think so.
> 14. Where would you retire to? Somewhere cool (weather-wise) and interesting.
> 15. What was your most recent memory? Um, opening this email.>
> 16. What are you going to do when you finish this? Actual work. Probably.>
> 17. Furthest place you are sending this? Arizona.
> 18. Person you expect to send it back first? Oh hell, I don't know.
> 19. When is your birthday? 1/18
> 20. Are you a morning person or a night person? Afternoon person!! :-)
> 21. What is your shoe size? 8
> 22. Do you own any animals? Two bad little kitties named Juno and Barry.>
> 23. Any news you'd like to share? I'm hoping to move out of this apartment soon.>
> 24. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A veterinarian. Or a marine biologist. Or an architect. Or a ad agency exec.
> 25. What is your favorite flower? Tulips.
> 26. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? 2/12/10
> 28. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Raw umber>
> 29. How is the weather right now? Meh.
> 30. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My cousin.
> 31. Favorite soft drink? Dr. Pepper
> 32. where'd you go??? Crazy
> 33. Hair color? Dark brown
> 34. What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbies and books.
> 35. Summer or winter? Winter
> 36. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla
> 37. Coffee or tea? Tea
> 38. Wish you were still young? A little bit
> 39. Do you want your friends to email you back? Uh, YEAH.
> 40. When was the last time you cried? Coupla days ago. I was hormonal or some shit.
> 41. What is under your bed? Storage containers and shoes.
> 42. What is your favorite cologne or perfume? BCBG Sexy
> 43. What did you do last night? Watched Bones and Fringe.
> 44 .What are you afraid of? Being old and infirm
> 45. Best quality you have? I get along with everybody.
> 46. How many years at your current job? 7
> 47. Favorite day of the week? Saturday.
> 48. How many people will you send this to? I don't know.
> 49. How many will respond? ??
> 50. Do you like finding out all this stuff about your friends? Um, YEAH?

Survey the Second:

We've seen quite enough of these lame-ass surveys lately, right? And I know you're all sick of the "who will reply first/ how many people are you sending this to/ where did you go?" questions that mean absolutely nothing. So to fight the survey-fatigue, here are some important questions that I think are a little more interesting than knowing what friggin' crayon color you would be.

If you agree and like my questions, go ahead and answer them and send them around to people you feel like sending them to. Then I recommend getting your drink or drug of choice, sit back and wait for those responses to come rolling in!

1) What is one item you would want with you if you were stranded at a monster truck rally? A cell phone.
2) How old were you when your parents ruined your life by not letting you go hang out the mall when everyone else was, like, allowed to go? 13>
3) In the "late night wars" who would you prefer to watch: Lenin or Conan the Barbarian? Conan
4) What is your favorite cliche they always do in "rom-com" (romantic comedy) movies? Falling out of chair. Us ladies are so clumsy!
5) If you saw a dead dog on the side of the road, what breed of dog would make you feel the LEAST amount of sadness when you looked closer? Wow, this is hard. Um, is junkyard a breed?
6) What is the Soup du Jour? And how much does it cost? ?
7) You see Gary Coleman at the bank. What happens next?
I try to take a picture with my cell phone but fail miserably and give up, lest he catches me.>
8) What's your favorite TV show that is no longer on the air? Pushing Daisies, WAH.
9) What celebrity of the same sex would you "go gay for" if you had to do that? Kate Winslet.
10) What is your favorite kind of storm? A Quiet Storm.
11) What was your maternal grandmother's maiden name? Harrison. I think.
12) The first time you threw up away from home, where were you? In school.
13) What was your first cassette tape or CD purchase? Music Box, I think. Don't quote me on that.
14) What was the absolute worst (or stupidest) Halloween costume you ever wore? I was a punk rocker. I put on my mom's jewelry and my cousin painted a cross on my forehead. It was sad.
15) Do you regret not ordering the salad, now that you know more about that fucking soup du jour?
This is a joke I'm not getting. It's based on a movie, isn't it? I just know it.
16) If you were a shampoo, for which hair type would you be formulated?
WHAT?
17) What would you name a pet turtle, if you could have one? (BTW, Mom says you can't have one, so don't get too excited.) Lester
18) In high school, what was the class you miss the most? No. Just ... no.
19) What was the worst thing you ever did that got you in trouble with your rabbi or tribal shaman?
I got drunk off that wine they have. There's wine, right? That's a thing?
20) Who would you like to take on a cross-country trip in one of those rental RVs? Somebody wacky, that's all I know.
21) Who is your favorite stand-up comedian/enne? Honestly, I think stand-up mostly sucks.
22) Are you more likely to cry over physical pain or emotional guilt? Why? Physical pain. To feel guilt you must have a soooooooul.
23) Name a book that you know you read, and yet you can't recall a single thing about it other than the title and possibly the author. Wuthering Heights. I seem to remember wanting to kill the shit out of everybody in there.
24) How do you sleep at night? In a special chamber.
25) Why did you do it? It was free.
26) Are you sure--absolutely SURE-- there are no surviving witnesses? Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.
27) But what about the guy's kids? He had kids, you know. Up next on my to-do list.
28) Which is better: rainbows or unicorns? Unicorns that shit rainbows.
29) Cake or cupcakes? Cake
30) Life or death? Shows how much you know. I don't have to choose.

Delurking Day 2010

Happy Delurking Day! Yes, I know the damn picture says Delurker Day, but it was free, goddamit. I ain't about to argue with free. You know what to do.*

*=Um, if you don't know what to do, here are instructions: 1) Delurk** in the comments section, please. You can say something funny, or link to something interesting, or just say "delurking!" 2) Repost on your own blog. 3) Spread the word.

**=Looking at my tags and apparently it's a week, or it was at some point, or something. So now all you procrastinators have extra time! Woo-hoo!***

***=Thanks to all the time I've logged on The Sims 3 recently, that expression instantly makes me think of Sim sex, which ... hee.

So Dry

My skin is so dry...

I can write the word DRY on my hand. (Remember that commercial? No? Just me, then?)

My hands look gross, like old man-hands, with little patches of ashiness in the "webs" between my fingers. It reminds me of this job "interview" I had, where I ended up shadowing this guy for the day, going door-to-door trying to get people to change their phone service. Or something. It was vaguely scammy and completely annoying. We stopped at a pizza place in Mt. Airy for lunch but I couldn't eat anything because the dude's hands were so gross and painful looking. And now I'm worried that mine look like that.

I am constantly slathering lotion on my hands all day long. I don't want to make anyone else lose their appetite. I've always hated the greasy feeling of lotion on my hands -- so much so that I'd wash my hands after applying it elsewhere -- but I've had to get used to having it on my hands since my medication dries me out. Recently the cold weather and dry indoor heat have just been making it worse.

My hands are always scratched up now (thanks, Barry), which doesn't really have anything to do with the dryness of my skin, except that I've probably got some nasty little infection just waiting to happen.

I almost broke out in hives last night, which hasn't happened in years. My allergies cause the hives to flare up if I walk too much outdoors (which hasn't happened in years), but I don't think my dry-ass skin was helping things out. I had to break down and take a bus to travel three blocks. Three blocks! Even I'm not that much of a lazy lard-ass, but otherwise I would've been a weird, itchy, scratchy mess.

I took an oatmeal bath last night as soon as I got home. I felt decidedly old. And itchy.

My hand is itching like crazy right now. I keep thinking about that old wives' tale that says it means either money coming in or money going out. I can never remember which hand is which, but I bet I can guess.

I just put on some of the lovely scented lotion Shane bought me for Christmas. I hope the fact that it's scented doesn't exacerbate the problem. Maybe I should go old-school and try Vaseline...

Catfight Flip Book

In this corner:

And in this corner:

DING DING DING!







Um, it's a TIE? I guess?

Sometimes, watching these two is better than TV.