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I'm naming this post thusly because that's sort of what it is. I mean, I'm going to publish it when I'm done, but until then I don't know what I'm doing here. (Which I guess means it's just like everything else I've posted!).

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Okay, I've had this open for half an hour now, and I can't think of anything else to write. Also, I'm trying to do, you know, work. They're actually letting me train a new hire. It's funny because she wants to know why we're doing what we're doing (which is fine), and most of the time I have to tell her that I don't know. Half the time it's because it's not important and I don't care, and half the time it's because I asked once and later regretted it (i.e., the answer made my head spin).

Anyway, I suppose I have been a bit busy, what with training on top of my regular duties. I've been terrible about visiting blogs, let alone commenting on them, and forget about having time to read fanfic. (What? Like you don't?) And then our internet was all weird yesterday, so that just made things worse.

I'm getting a flu shot on Thursday. (Segue? What segue?) It's just for the regular flu; I have to wait and see if I'll be able to get an H1N1 shot as they're giving them to higher-risk people first. A co-worker pointed out that my severe year-round allergies might qualify me as a high-risk priority candidate. For once, damn allergies might actually be good for something.

Lately I've been considering going to see an ENT doctor another co-worker recommended. I've been getting heinous sinus headaches (srsly, felt like my face was about to explode), so much so that I broke down and bought some Mucinex-D, or as I like to call it, "the good shit." They keep it behind the counter and make you swipe your driver's license so they know you're not stocking a meth lab. It's probably not good to be taking it every day though (and I don't), so that's why I've been thinking about seeing a doctor. I've put it off for so long because really, what am I going to tell him? I take Claritin every day of my life and it sorta works but it sorta doesn't? And what's he going to tell me? Here, have some nasal spray? I don't put things up my nose, so I'm afraid I'd just be wasting everybody's time.

Speaking of wasting everybody's time, (look! A segue!) I love those STFU blogs so much I thought I'd start one of my own. And then I realized I don't have anything to post on it. Bah. I don't even want to link to it, because it's so sad with its one little pitiful post. Anyway (and this is the part where I'm probably wasting everybody's time), if you spot something stupid a celebrity says (you'd think I'd be posting 10 times a day, no?), would you mind sending me the link? That would be awesome.

Halloween Cats

Okay, so I think this is funny whether you like cats or not. Because if you like cats: it's cats being funny. And if you don't like cats: it's cats doing a pretty good impersonation of misery incarnate. I chased them around with a spray bottle, made them take a bath -- together -- and then drugged them up with a combination of Valium and catnip.

Oh. Wait. My bad. None of that actually happened. They just acted like it did.

Sulky Teenage Cat. I thought he would be okay with a costume (it's just! a! hat!) because he doesn't mind his collar at all (and that has a damn bell on it), but no. He decided the straps meant it was a toy, for to play with. When I finally got it on him, he gave me this look: My stupid-ass mom just took away my weed and made me dress up in this stupid costume.

I was hoping for a really good shot of Barry in the hat, but this was the best we could do:
Yeah, yeah, Happy Halloween give me the damn camera.

Then it was Juno's turn. Oddly, I had slightly better results, as Juno wasn't so much interested in playing with the hat.

Okay, so this looks bad, like I'm forcibly restraining her, but really I'm just ... um, trying to keep her from running away/eating my face off/attacking the camera. No cats were harmed in the making of this blog post, I swear. Also, innit awesome how Juno manages to remain dignified, even in the face of her person's obvious insanity?

I am totally one of Those People now. Seriously, I'm about a pet stroller away from being featured on a Discovery Health channel documentary.

Nine

It's just occurred to me that I've been absent from Internetdom for a bit. I'm on a vacation of sorts this week, in honor of Shane's and my anniversary (it's been nine YEARS, holy shit). I've got a content-free, photo-full post on Mr. Barry in the works, but I didn't want to put that up today of all days.

We're just laying low today, exchanging presents and hanging out. I just finished my new Wicked pop-up book and Shane is playing Tekken 6 (cool anniversary presents FTW!), so I figured I'd just pop in here (hee, bad pun fully intended) to say hi. Or something. And reconnect with the Internet. And wish Shane a very happy anniversary, even though he probably won't read this for at least a week.

And now I've got to go, as Juno doesn't have nearly enough room on my lap here, and her little feet are digging into my legs and driving me nuts. Peace out.

More Ado About Nothing

"Nothing" seems to be a recurring theme here. Not much going on.

• Shane's has been fighting a nasty cold since the end of last week. He hardly ever gets sick, so I imagine this particular strain of ickiness would knock me flat on my ass. Thus, I've been guzzling orange juice and popping Zinc and Vitamin C like candy. Okay, maybe not like candy, 'cause those are some big-ass horse pills.
• We got a PlayStation 3. That's not really accurate; it's more like Shane got it, but he bought this game called Little Big Planet that everyone kept mentioning to him. I guess we'll play it this weekend if he's feeling better. We should have all our HDMI cords by then (I have no idea what that means) so we can watch some Blu-Ray, or as we like to call it, Blu-RAH (that's how my FIL says it).
• I'm almost back to normal after fiddling with my meds a few months ago. It's good to be (almost) back.
• I still don't have any info on the glasses Amy Adams wore in Julie and Julia, and it's still driving me nuts. I have to find an email address to write to Entertainment Weekly about this very important issue. I've made an appointment with the ophthalmologist for December, and I would like to be able to buy what I've come to think of as MY glasses. Dammit.
• Barry is still settling in. He and Juno fight sometimes. I'm still not sure if they're playing or not. I usually step in when Juno starts screeching. Barry, for all his adorable funniness, is kind of an asshole. Juno was on my lap last night, and he jumped up next to us. It looked like he was going to curl up and go to sleep (awww), but then he had to start sniffing Juno. Then he started, like, gnawing on her fur (WTF?) so I had to put him at the other end of the couch. Thankfully, Juno couldn't see him; she thought it was me and nipped my hand like the HELL are you doing back there? I trimmed Barry's front claws (so far I haven't been able to get at the back claws) and we're investing in a couple of highly rated automatic deterrents so Demon Cat doesn't chew up all our fancy new cords.
• In couch-potato news, I am still in love with Glee (although I missed it last night -- damn meds make me sleepy) and Fringe. I haven't seen an episode of House as I was not thrilled with the season premiere, and I'm still trying to decide if I'm going to stick with FlashForward. It's mysterious and all, and I like the cast, but I can't say it's a show I really sit down to watch. I'm usually doing other stuff around the room while it's on and the whole time I'm thinking, I could be watching Bones right now. I'd say I need a DVR, but I know I'd probably let stuff just pile up on it.
• I continue to suck at losing weight. I am down about ten pounds from my original weight, but I wasn't able to work out because of, you know, SUMMER. I need to get back into a routine, and quick. Thankgsiving is right around the corner and I'll probably put on five pounds that weekend alone. I have my Debbie Siebers DVD, and I finally broke down and bought the 30 Day Shred. Now I'm just trying to find the courage to actually open the damn thing and get to sweating. Ick, sweating.

That's pretty much it for now. Fighting a cold, watching TV, trying to start working out again, and thinking up ways to keep Barry from getting himself killed. I'm trying to relax and enjoy my favorite season. Fall is when asshole Summer decides to pack it in, and Winter hasn't had its nasty way with you yet.

This Just In: You Still Gotta Wash Your Hands

Oh, for fuck's sake. The Word-OUT! Foundation strikes again:




Well, at least this time they got a more instantly recognizable celebrity. Apparently they're into branding this shit now; it's not just a reminder, it's "a Terrence Howard reminder!" That kind of makes sense, I guess, given that this is Señor Baby Wipes we're talking about. If dude's that serious about washing his ass, I'm guessing he probably has pretty clean hands.

I have to wonder, though, if Mr. Howard was aware his picture was going to be used in this manner. This picture is so haphazard, like he was coming from a court appearance or something. I keep thinking he's standing outside City Hall. It's like the paparazzi stopped him for a second and he was all "He-eey," pointing at the camera and then that picture got bought or stolen by the Word-OUT! Foundation and now we have this monstrosity on our streets. Or something like that. I'm not a graphic designer (oh, I am so not a graphic designer) but this is one ugly billboard. There's like seven different fonts going on here.

At least we're just being told to "Cleanse and PROTECT" though, right? I mean, at least nobody's making "cute" poop jokes this time. I guess I also Gotta Be Thankful For Small Favors.

The Ol' Snip-Snip

Barry got neutered yesterday. He'd already experienced going to the vet and he wanted no parts of that shit. As soon as he saw I was trying to get him in the carrier -- actually as soon as he saw the carrier -- it was on. Once he was in there, he started moving so much he was shaking the carrier like a box full of Gremlins. Poor thing. (Not that I didn't have a laugh at his expense.)

The surgery itself went well. Actually if it wasn't for the way he stepped out of the carrier when we got him home (like he was trying to wriggle a wedgie away, hee) I'd suspect the vet didn't actually do anything. Except maybe give him a shitload of cocaine. Barry's pretty energetic anyway, but last night he was WIRED. (Possibly from being locked up all day at the vet.) The after care instructions are all, Your Pet -- they capitalize "pet" for some reason -- may be sleepy for a day or two after surgery. Then I look over at Barry and he's fucking with Juno or chasing his tail. Keep your Pet from jumping onto and off of furniture. Aaaand, he's just chased his tail, right off the couch onto the floor. Great.

You're supposed to limit food intake for a couple of hours until you know if your Pet -- damn, I mean pet -- will throw up from the anesthesia. I held out for as long as I could in the face of Barry's obvious misery. He was starving and seemed to be doing a good job of pacing himself anyway, nibbling a bit, then coming back for more later. Um, also? That motherfucker tried to EAT MY HAND. He likes to gnaw on hands (and arms, and elbows, and feet...) anyway, but last night he was actually trying to devour my hand. Like NOM NOM GET IN MAH BELLEH NAO. When I wouldn't let him, he let out this crazy noise I have never heard him make before (it was very Wild Kingdom) and did a weird kind of tumblesault thing. I wish I had it on video.

So I put the food back down before he could hurt himself. Or me. Then I went to bed and closed the door in case he got hungry during the night.

Other post-op weirdness:

• Starting shit with Juno (um, isn't this surgery supposed to make him less aggressive?)
• Harassing Shane all night by tapping him on the back while he was at the computer, like hi. Hi ... hi ... hi ... hi.
• At one point I took his collar off because the rabies tag was driving him crazy and getting tangled up with the vet's medical ID collar. Barry somehow found his collar (even though he did not see where I put it), got it off the windowsill, and sat calmly while I put it back on him. Um, okay?
• Trying to get in the bathroom while Shane was in there. He usually just waits outside the door (I call him Little Pervert) but last night he was trying to work his paw under the door and get inside. WTF?
• Running from me. I am the bitch who put him in a box though, twice, so I can kind of see where he's coming from with that one.

I swear, this cat is more deranged than ever.

Knock Knock

Who's there? I'm not sure*, because now there's a door in the way! We finally have a bedroom door! I know it sounds insane, but we've never had a bedroom door in our apartment. It's not like there used to be a door there; there's no frame, no nothing. Our previous landlord put in a flimsy plastic folding door that Juno basically destroyed in five minutes while trying to open it. Now that we have two cats, we need a real door more than ever.

Shane sent the landlord an email on Tuesday, saying that one of the bathroom tiles was coming up, and oh yeah what are the odds of us getting a bedroom door? After the way they draaaaaagged their feet on fixing/replacing our AC, I figured I'd next have a bedroom door when I moved somewhere that already had one.

But! Yesterday! We came home to the smell of CONSTRUCTION. (It smells like sawdust and sweat, in case you were wondering.) Turns out maintenance had hopped right on our request, and we not only had a brand-new bathroom floor but a bedroom door as well! Made of wood! With a frame! And a door knob and lock and everything! It was like Christmas came a few months early.

Also, when we inquired about getting a carpet cleaner from them, our landlord said he'd get someone to come out and clean it. Sweet. Then he said he'd probably just put in indoor/outdoor carpet. Sweeter. Then he said to hell with it, let's just put down hardwood flooring throughout the apartment ohmydamnfuckingsugarcoma.

*I hope they live here, though.